Glasses clinking and clacking together. Sliver ware sloshing back and forth… To anyone else they’re background noise in the restaurant. To me, it’s like nails on a chalkboard.
I always had this weird thing about senses. I always super sensitive to sounds and touch. Tonight was even worse. My anxiety level was extremely high, and all I wanted to do was shout out loud “KEEP IT DOWN!” Then, he walked in the room. The one domino set to knock everything down.
“Hey, Bradley,” I said with a lackluster level of enthusiasm.
“Hey, sweetie. Did you have a good day?”
This was it. I couldn’t hide it anymore. Relationships had their fall, but since no gentleman had any remote interest in me for 6 years this one took the cake.
Bradley was a singer and big around the local community. The ladies loved him, and why wouldn’t they? He brought back that suave, smooth, and sophisticated aspect of a crooner. However, he was also very sweet. He took time to talk to people interested in his work. He wasn’t schmoozing the fans for their wallets. You could tell he appreciated the support, and he gave that love and respect back.
So, how did he and I meet? I’m an event coordinator for a local non-profit organization. We needed entertainment for a charity ball, and after going through several auditions, I choose him because he seemed sincere and had a passion for music.
After the event, he and I grabbed a bite of ice cream. Johnon’s Creamy was Bradley’s favorite, because it reminded him of his favorite place back home, although the comparison didn’t come close.
How did this all end? Well, like I said… he was one of the kindest guys around, and he wasn’t shy about showing other ladies affection. That didn’t bother me. I knew it was a part of the package.
The part that killed me… was the fact that I was giving him 100% of my love, devotion and attention. He was only retaining 50%…
He became more and more busy as his record began doing well. It wasn’t soon until Epic Records picked him up for a contract.
That’s when things changed. We went from texting each other every day to just forgetting that each other existed. Occupied with our hectic careers, we began phasing each other out.
It eventually became worse. He became more narcissistic, and his ego got more and more coaxed by groupies.
I couldn’t take it any more, so I called him tonight to Luna en El Barrio to break up with him.Surprisingly I think it went better than imagined. I took him by the hand, and I didn’t hesitate. I told him I was unhappy, and we both deserved happiness. We agreed that things changed, and it would inevitably lead to this moment.
We parted ways, and no tears were shed. Nothing felt more liberating. I began to smile, and I knew things were only up from here. After years of heartache, and cheating myself out of true joy and happiness I knew it was time. It was time for me to find my own voice, to find my own song, and to find the euphoria I so longed for.