I don’t want to know my future. I want to find it. – Zac Levi
Every time the year comes closer to an end, I get more retrospective than usual. If you visited my blog, you’re no stranger to my recaps. Even if the themes remain the same, there’s something I learned – taking care of myself mentally and spiritually is more fulfilling than any major accomplishment.
Walking away from dance was difficult, but it really gave me a sense of clarity. It showed me that I was obsessing over others rather than focusing on my own goals and path of progress. Plus once you exit, you begin to assess who was really there for you and who was just saw you as another competitor. Leaving something you love isn’t always bad. Sometimes it’s an opportunity for you to take care of your mental health, which we should never neglect.
Leaving dance also allowed me to focus on my budgets. This year, I’ve been more dutiful than I have in the past. Past me would’ve taken whatever was left in her savings and spend it on a plane ticket to her next dance event. Now, I’m saving up for relocating. I know I’m not necessarily applying for new jobs. In the past (*cough* BuzzFeed *cough* Broadway HD *cough*) I had interest from some of biggest dream jobs, but couldn’t accept due to my financial situation. I’m working my way to being prepared if that big opportunity comes a-knocking.
Another component of exiting the dance world also consisted of me not posting on Facebook anymore. Not like people really kept up with me, it was more I had to get off Facebook again for my mental health. The more I scrolled, the more depressed I got that I didn’t move up a rank in dance, or I didn’t get married or promoted. My friends and I often comment how you only see the big highlights on social and no one is really brave enough to be real. I guess that’s why I stepped away from social a bit. It’s because I wanted to connect. Instead of jonesing for likes, I actually wanted to develop bonds and explore new things.
2K17 did bless me with one good thing from social… getting to connect with my role model, Zac Levi. Sure it’s been a tweet here, a tweet there but nonetheless, each 140 blurb of wisdom has meant something to me. My favorite probably was after I asked him, “advice for someone who thinks it’s difficult to find love”
Z: If it was easy it would be cheap love, and cheap love is no love at all.
Social media. Sometimes it almost starts WWIII, but others we can find nuggets of wisdom.
So, yes 2K17. I didn’t climb Mount Everest. I didn’t invent the next tech innovation and become a millionaire. Another year has come and gone where I felt like I didn’t do anything monumental. But once again I’m embracing the uncertainty because I have faith that a future beyond my wildest comprehension is out there for me. A future built on happiness, confidence, risks, meaningful friendship, and a love that only something beyond myself could plan.