We Don’t Talk Anymore — Our Lack of Conversation


 “We’re dying for lack of conversation. We’re dying for lack of kindness. We’re dying for lack of understanding. ” – Zac Levi

As a society, we don’t talk anymore – or at least have deep meaningful conversations. You guys are probably thinking that I’m writing my Master’s thesis on Zac on how much I talk about him.

I’ve been finding these gems of wisdom in a time that I needed it, and it happened again tonight while I was watching his NERD HQ 2016 PANEL.

There are so many highlights I wish I could hit, but the one that caught my attention (HEH, another Charlie Puth pun) is when he talked about how we as a society lacked conversation. 

Conversationalist. Producer. Dreamer. That’s my tagline for a reason. My mentality, character, and heart have been rooted in conversation. If you met me online or in real life you know I gab a lot. That’s why I pulled away from social media. Not only for my mental health but because every time I would meet someone at a dance convention, they would be like “Oh hey! I see you on Facebook ALL THE TIME!” That was basically what I was known for. It became a sad reflection on my life.

It sounded like my life was built on two worlds. The real-life me that went to work every day went home, watched Netflix and went to bed. The social media me that was a dance DJ, a traveling competitive dancer, and had a shit ton of “famous friends” in the dance world. I even wrote on here one time that someone thought I was a dancer living out in California. That was all thanks to the illusion of social media.

Sad thing is IT WASN’T LIES. I did travel, I did DJ, and I compete. I did what I mentioned in my last blog – I only highlighted the big stuff in my social media. I wasn’t being honest. I wasn’t venting out my insecurities of self-worth because if I did that I would be considered a whining baby on social. I would be called an attention whore for needing validation through likes and comments to boost me up. To sum up on this segment – social media is a frickin’ double-edged sword. I love how I can talk and converse with people halfway around the world or even Zac. Yet I hate the fact there’s this “fakeness” and barrier with social. People don’t post shitty things that happen to them online. They don’t post the little moments because it isn’t monumental enough to considered a milestone. Social media killed honest conversation.

THE SMARTPHONE.

WhatsApp Image 2017-11-15 at 9.10.50 PM.jpeg

I’m with ya millennials. I’m figuratively married to my iPhone, but I hate them at the same time. Why? Because they take us away from having authentic experiences. I get it. I’ll take pics of pretty food. I’ll share an insta story of something funny. I’ll tweet a thought I have right there. But I get a little hurt whenever someone who I invite or they invite me to lunch/dinner, yet they spend 80% of their time on their smartphone and not make eye contact with me. I am guilty of wanting to check my phone, but out of respect for the other person, I either put my phone away or I’ll snap a quick photo and then put it away. As a friend, family member, whatever… if I got invited to spend time with you, I owe it to you to give you my undivided attention. What about concerts? You see those people who film the entire show on their iPad. C’MON PEOPLE! You did not spend 200 bucks to watch the entire thing on your device. Enjoy the live entertainment you paid for! I love how far tech has come, and how tech and actually even bring us closer, but for the love of God, the next time someone invites you to hang out or you invite them PUT THE DAMN PHONE AWAY!

MARRIAGES

I’m not married nor have I ever been in a serious committed relationship, BUT Dax Shepard who is married was on Ellen recently and gave an audience member some really great advice. She asked him about conflict resolutions to her boyfriend giving her the silent treatment. He told her to “show the same respect to your relationship you would show your car” and advised her to seek couples counseling early on.

“You should go to couples therapy… it’s a great way to prevent terrible patterns early  versus unraveling terrible patterns later on.” – Dax

Each suffering relationship has its own backstory, but I know a lot of issues could be resolved simply by a) seeking a third objective party who will work with you to challenge and grow you, and b) TALKING IT OUT.

This paragraph is dedicated to my homegirl, Vanessa. This lovely lady lives in Singapore and I live in Norman, Oklahoma. We’re thousands of miles apart, nearly 3 time zones away, yet we talk EVERYDAY. Not just talk we have deep convos about struggles of being creatives, the growing pains of having Asian parents, our hopes and dreams. Just when I begin to doubt myself, this girl opens my eyes as to why I’m worthy of my dreams. Hell, next to Zac… she’s probably the one person that does that the most for me, haha. To have someone there, even if they’re miles away just support you even if it’s solely through conversation means the world to me. That’s the power of conversation (Thanks, Vee!).

So, yes… to finish up this dissertation of a masterpiece I’ll leave you with this…. A) GO FUCKIN’ WATCH ZAC’S PANEL. YES, I’M WRITING IN ALL CAPS AND SWEARING TO PROVE MY POINT BECAUSE YOU REALLY NEED TO DO IT. B) Just frickin’ try to have as many positive and soulful conversations as you can. We only get so many ticks on the tick tocking clock of life, so we have to make every minute count. Get to know your parents better, get to know your friends beyond the surface level, because I can assure you so many things can be improved with a conversation.

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Conversationalist. Producer. DREAMER.

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