I used to think the worst thing was to end up alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is end up with people who make you feel all alone – Robin Williams
2017 – the year I focused on my mental health. Mental health was marked for a lengthy period of time, taboo. I’m glad more people feel inspired to let their guard down, be vulnerable, and bring awareness.
This year I took a long hiatus from dance. A huge reason? It was mentally taxing. This constant tornado of feeling worthless, doubting my passion and skill. Facebook was not helpful either. Remeber when I said people only post the big stuff? Everyone posted fun pics and vids at dance cons, but rarely do we hear the behind the scenes stuff that happens. If not careful it can do a real number on you, and I just couldn’t do it anymore. Something I loved to do shouldn’t have to be questioned. I was already depressed in my real life, I didn’t need a hobby (yes, ladies and gentlemen I did dance for fun) bringing me down emotionally and mentally. Your own heart and belief (no matter where that lies) will tell you, “Hey… listen this isn’t helping your soul. You are only doing damage versus enjoying yourself and nurturing your mind, body, and soul.” It’s our choice if we want to listen to it or not.
The Logic of it all
People can hear that inner voice but sometimes a darker force grabs us and tells us things that are potentially harmful or even fatal. Enter Logic. Thanks to his Billboard Number one hit “1-800-273-8255” the number of calls to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline increased 30%. Google searches have gone up 100%. One song. An honest and transparent song takes us on a journey through the eyes of someone who has reached a place of pain many cannot understand. In a world where so much content is filled with glamorizing a lot of superficial stuff, Logic has used his artistry to save lives. That’s powerful.
I’m Still On A Journey
I think it Confucius who says a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. I count my blessings that I never reached that excruciating level of pain, but I am human like everyone else and as a human I want to use my gift of connection and storytelling to let others know they are not alone. There are days where I feel my self-worth is so distorted and nowhere near where it is realistically. Those days I don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t want to do anything but lay in bed and binge Netflix. But internalizing a lot of that human emotion only makes it more toxic. We should seek out people who we feel emotionally comfortable to release our anxiety. The ones we consider our tribe, our family, and loved ones will offer that safe space to heal. Even if you don’t have your own tribe, there are resources out there ready to assist.
How Zac Levi Helped Me Heal
I am forever grateful for my Phamily (both of the blood and friends variety). However, I 100% can say I would not have made it through this year if it weren’t for Z. I’ve talked numerous times about how I felt like I didn’t do shit this year. I didn’t move like I said I was going to, I didn’t get a new career, I’m not married and popping out the grandchildren for Mama Pham. Despite what appears an ‘uneventful’ year, I am so glad I found a light of positivity in Zac. I’ve followed Zac for years, but I guess I needed him this year more than years past. When you get into a gnarley and insanely tough business that is Entertainment you need to seek out an ambassador for humanity. That’s exactly what Zac is. I recently binged watched so many of his panels (NerdHQ and non-NerdHQ) and it made me emotional anytime someone said, “Chuck helped me through a really rough period of my life.” He demonstrates day in and day out that you can succeed in this business without the (excuse my language) douchebaggery, corruptedness, and depthless attitude associated with media. If you’re honest in your heart and in your work, you will be rewarded. Also, find you a point of hope – be it a person, book, show, whatever it is… if it feeds your soul keep it (or them) in your life.
Let’s continue bringing awareness to mental health. Let’s have more in-depth and soul-searching conversations… Let’s make it known that being YOU and being human is more than ok.