To Wedding or To Marriage? That Is The Question


According to our elders, millennials are a bunch of modern-day rabbits, swiping left and right without a care in the world, humping our brains out, and treating love as if it’s nothing. For some that may be true. But there are a handful of us out there who genuinely want to find a forever person to spend the rest of our lives with. Question is… do we want a wedding or a marriage?

You’re probably going Steph, A wedding starts a marriage where are you getting at? A wedding starts a marriage but to some, that’s all they focus on. And who can blame them? We’re brainwashed since childhood life apparently has a ‘set timeline.’ Go to school. Graduate college by 22. Married by 25. Kids and a home by 30. And apparently, if you haven’t done that, you’re not succeeding which is utter BS. Honestly as something as heavy and intense (yet jovial!) as marriage is, why should we treat it as some sort of rat race?


Mindless Social Media:

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Now, I’m not anti-social media but there is a lot of it I disagree with. Especially when it comes to weddings and marriage. We’re literally bombarded with wedding images constantly, whether it is Pinterest boards, Instagram explore pages, proposal videos on YouTube, Wedding Highlights on YouTube, wedding shows, wedding magazines. I even got this ad simply scrolling on Twitter. I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again.. Social media is someone’s highlight reel. All those gorgeous wedding photos, all those tears shed in the moving wedding video, that’s all lovely. But what you didn’t see is all the fights thanks to behemoth costs of the wedding, the disagreements on who to invite, the awkward social interactions because your parents invited their friends who you met maybe 3 times in your life. Now, as someone who’s worked a wedding, I’m not sh*tting on the industry. I love weddings, I think celebrating love is a wondrous thing. However, it is a milestone that shouldn’t be rushed.

Wedding Wanda. Chances are we all know one. No, it’s not an engaged girl gone bridezilla. It’s the girl who hasn’t even gotten a ring yet and she’s already signing ‘Mrs. Smith’ and planning every detail down to the tee. I once knew a friend who’s fiancĂ© already changed her name on social and their wedding was a good year or more away. Like Alice in this wonderful article, I don’t get the mentality. Marriage is supposed to be something worth waiting for. And honestly, I don’t even think of all the ‘cutesy coupley’ stuff when it comes to marriage.

I think of sinking into my partner’s arms when I become an emotional tornado thanks to my anxiety. I think of being by his side when tragedy strikes and letting him know I might not have answers, but I will do my best to get him through it. When I think of marriage, I think of my parents. Who are lucky to be blessed with 30 years of marriage as of this year. They don’t express their love in stereotypical ways, but even so, they raised a family. I can’t wait to have many incredible moments of bliss and eternal delight with someone I have the honor of calling my husband. Because it is an honor. However, I look forward to being vulnerable to be raw and real with someone and being trustworthy enough for someone to do the same with me.

So do I want a wedding or a marriage? Well, honestly both.. but for the right reasons. Not expecting a Disney fairytale, but the mysterious and adventurous events post- ‘happily ever after’ is what I’m looking forward to.


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